Qantas - Pilots v Maintenance Engineers

The following are supposedly some actual maintenance complaints/problems, generally known as squawks, that were apparently submitted by Qantas pilots to maintenance engineers (although the same list from other sources has attributed them to the US Air Force). After attending to the squawks, maintenance crews are required to log the details of the action taken to solve the pilots' squawks.

Vote for your best reply to a pilot's squawk.